I Lost Weight…
Jul 22nd, 2008 by Alvin Chong
I haven’t been eating well, I have not been sleeping well. Food is so tasteless now. I wake up in the middle of the night, not able to go back to sleep. Sometimes I wake up so early in the morning, I can’t go back to sleep. I am going through a very hard time now. I have lost quite a bit of weight.
I have once loved a girl, but she ended up breaking my heart and used me. I then moved on and fell for another girl. It’s really unfortunate that this girl also never liked me to begin with. I once swore never to be involved in love anymore. I fortified my walls. Another girl came by and I never really liked her, other than just being close friends. Nothing more than that. I never imagined I would have fell for her. I eventually gave in to my feelings and I told her. That never happened at all.
I continued with life. One day, this girl I got to know through the internet started building her friendship with me. She SMSed me to ask where I was when I was not in front of the computer. She’d wait to chat with me. We built up that friendship. It was always fun talking to her. One day, I got so sick of the whole world, I decided, I don’t wanna lead her on with my life. It is then that she told me she had feelings for me. I even took time off and went to the airport just to see her off numerous times.
I was uncertain how to feel. I did not want to get into a relationship without being certain of how I felt. I felt it was unfair to her if I lead her on if I am not sure. I gave it a few days thought and decided I would love to try it out with her. I finally held her hands. We went out together, holding hands. She was the first girl whom I kissed and held hands with. I started loving her more and more each day. I grew fond of her and we did many things together.
I have celebrated her birthday with her. I have celebrated Valentines with her. We even had our first anniversary. Our relationship became rough this past month. We have been constantly arguing about a 3rd party. It’s never easy when a 3rd party comes into a relationship. It’s all in the integrity of the relationship. If we still love each other very much, there is really nothing this 3rd party can do.
Right now, she is uncertain what she feels. This 3rd party has been constantly treating her well, and it’s also because of this 3rd party that we are arguing. How perfect. She broke my defenses, I learned to love when I thought I could never love anymore. I gave her my all. I am now helpless and I can do nothing. All I can do is to wait for her to come to her senses.
I know I am stupid. I know everyone thinks I am stupid. I don’t know who to talk to anymore. People cannot understand me, and I think they probably never will. I am not blaming anyone for thinking I am stupid. I feel so lost, hopeless and depressed. I can only pray to god and hope that things can become better.
its not that ppl kenot understands u bro…
relationship situations are hard…
it makes a person really stubborn….
u dun really accepts others thoughts when ur in situations like that…
that makes u think that ppl doenst wanna understand u…
ppl around u are the ones looking at u, a person changed when they are in a situation like that…
friends trying to help…actually they are really helping u, its just that ur too stubborn to accept it…
stay positive and be with ur friends they help alot
TMOT: Bro, it is not that I am not accepting what other people say. I do, really. It’s just that when I am in the situation, I can’t really come to do what people tell me to do, although it might be the right thing to do. Thanks for the advise anyway.
wtf?y did u deleted my comments???
dere is nothing more any1 could say or teach you…
u r either stubborn or ur under a very bad spell o sumting…
U URSELF KNOW WAD 2 DO!!!
PROLONG IT AND LOOSE THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU!!!!
ITS NOT WORTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and stop writing all these…she wont feel anything…
but instead she will think tat u cant live without her n continue doing all those crap…all i can say is…………
BE A MAN!!!!
*huGs*
dude. in life, shit happens.
just move on, for looking at those past is simply not worth it. :o)
stay well.
ahlost: Thank you very much for your support Rose… Appreciate it a lot.
me: You stay well too. Thanks for dropping by.