Is It Too Much To Ask For?
Jan 9th, 2008 by Alvin Chong
I was just suddenly wondering in the middle of the night. The big question now is this, Is it too much to ask for your counterpart to at least give you a call so that you can chat with him/her in a day? Now, before answering this question, it is important to know that communication is essential, especially when you are involved in a distance relationship.
Now, back to the question, when you are in a distance relationship, is it too much to ask your girlfriend/boyfriend to give you a call at night to at least talk a while? I mean, we can all understand that each of us has our own daily activities but just when we are about to go to bed, can’t we just give our loved ones a short call to update him/her on ourselves and to at least have a good talk with each other?
I don’t know about you guys, but it is definitely not too much for me. I have the tendency to call my girl even during lunch when I am free. Before anyone starts flaming me, saying I am clingy, I am calling to talk to her because it’s lunch. As much as I am busy, I am willing to spend that little time off having a chat with her. Sometimes, it’s a good thing.
Worse case scenario, I’ll at least call her at night when I am no longer working. It’s an effort that I feel is necessary to keep the relationship alive. Being able to live without your other half and not communicating with him/her, isn’t it the same as not having your other half? We might as well just live life as singles, no?
Then again, it’s a screwed up world we are living in. I know it is hard to satisfy everybody and I know for a fact that someone out there will tend to disagree with what I have to say. Some might even make the effort to comment and beg to differ. Then again, it’s them but I am sure it’s human nature to wanna know that their loved ones are safe and in perfect condition and to care for them as much as we can.
It’s amazing how some people can NOT even make this effort. When confronted, they will then retort with reasons like “My boyfriend is the clingy type. He wants me to report everything I have done today. I am the type who needs space and some time alone.” Being the hypocrite that they are, they are willing to spend the time with other guy or girl friends reporting their daily activities to them, but just not to their boyfriend, because they need some space and time. What a wonderful world we live in huh?
Some people will then give excuses like “It has been a rough day. I am tired and I don’t feel like talking now, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Man, let me tell you what a let down that is! When saying that, you are totally letting your spouse down and you make them feel like rubbish. You are indirectly telling them they are not worth your time. You are willing to spend your 24 hours elsewhere and on someone else. You are not even willing to spend a few minutes talking to your spouse, how wonderful more can you get?!
I can give many more examples but I am not going to even go there. You know what I mean from the examples above. Sometimes, it is not the gifts and surprises you give that matters. Sometimes, it is the small little little things that touches the heart and soul of a human.
Yes, I am a guy and some guys might tell you I am a sissy. So be it, because I know deep down, they do need to feel loved too, but they are too egoistical to admit that fact. Every human, be it male or female, needs to feel loved. It always feels good to be loved and wanted. Think about it.
i wish there were more guys out there like you…
Nicole: Why is that so?
because most guys i know find a problem to call everyday… lol
Even not LDR, I still think that there’s a need to call your partner at least before you go to bed.. Or maybe an sms if really wanna save that few cents…
yes, you are clingy, it shows that you’re insecure..
communication should be spontaneous instead of a chore..
you don’t want it to be like.. its that time of the day.. i need to make a call, its lunch… i need to make a call.. i need to sleep now.. i need to make a call kinda thing…
just so you know.. i’ve been in a long distance relationship for four years where our distance have grown from a 4 hours trip to a 14 hours trip… now.. you think about it…
fookiat: No, I am not clingy, yes, I am a bit insecure, but nonetheless, I trust my girl enough to do her own stuff.
Yes, communication should be spontaneous instead of a chore. I have never treated it as a chore. Had it been a chore, I wouldn’t have called. It’s just not me to burden myself with calls if I cannot give a hood.
No, I don’t treat my calls as, it’s the time of the day kinda call. In fact, it is very much the opposite. In fact it is like, it’s lunch now, after all that useless work, I can use a break. I WANNA make that call! I WANNA talk to my girl! If I need to sleep now, I WON’T make the call. Why?! Because I DON’T take it as a chore. I don’t force myself to call people I don’t like to. I WILLINGLY call my girl, because I love her. I make it a point to call her, EVEN for a minute at night before I sleep not because I make it a chore, but rather because I love her and I wanna listen to her sound at least a minute before I sleep.
I understand where you are coming from, but before you start advising me, please do know where I am coming from. Trust me or not, that is up to you. Your relationship has grown from 4 - 14 hours you said. With proper communication, people can still break. Without one, it’s hard to survive. It’s just humans. They start feeling the distance eventually and they eventually feel comfortable with someone closer to them at heart and whom they are able to spill to. Don’t trust me? It’s alright. Now, you think about it…
call everyday, it feels like a chore, for me. calling for the sack of calling just don’t work. worse, i will end up, ‘ya? ok.. oh? issit? no lah. er mmm’ communication is important, very essential but it must involves both ways. if only one side want to talk, the other don’t want, guess no point trying to make small talks.
I agree with the few comments above. (To me, anyway) it seems needy if a guy/girl needs to call and report to their gf/bf all the time. I feel smothered.. can’t breathe I’m in a relationship such as that. Of course, different people like different things. Do your own thing, whatever, as long as you’re happy. But make sure your spose is happy too..