Love? Do It Without Saying It?
Oct 6th, 2007 by Alvin Chong
It’s 2.24 A.M. Yea, I know it’s late but I just can’t sleep. Anyway, I was reading through this and it got me wondering. Can you actually just love a person without saying it? Maybe to a certain extend, that is possible but you have got to admit that every human living on earth would like to hear it directly from the mouth of their loved ones.
Can a relationship really work when you meet the person you love everyday and they just expect you to know, from the way they do things, that they love you? Saying it once a day, even before you go to sleep is not too much to ask for, or is it? Right, some will say that the 3 words have to be said with feelings. If there is no feeling, then there is no point saying it. I agree to that and by the same token, I kinda feel the spouse is trying to tell me that she has no such feelings for the day and that she doesn’t feel like saying it, if you know what I mean.
A commentor commented and I quote:
“Which, in the context of “love” (italised), would be hard to explain to “someone who has never experienced one….” It doesnt matter how many times the phrase “I love you” is spoken, or really, not to be spoken at all. Which is almost similar to the word “sorry” (italised) - sorry corrects absolutely nothing if you don’t mean it.”
I agree that sorry means absolutely nothing if you do not mean it. Meaning, it doesn’t matter if the phrase “I love you” is said or not, so long as you know your spouse loves you. Now, if I may and if we look at it from a different angle, “sorry” means nothing if not meant, BUT nothing you do means anything if you DO NOT say it in the first place. You can go ahead and do whatever you like thinking people will notice that you have repent, but so what? At the end of the day, you still owe the guy an apology. It’s as simple as saying and meaning it.
The same applies to love. You can go ahead and do all those tiny little things expecting people to feel that you love them. At the end of the day, your spouse often portrays what you have done as what any other couples would have done for each other. In a way, it does show love, but these little gestures will often be passed off as normal routine in a couple’s life.
On the contrary, if a spouse makes it known to the other half that he/she is doing all these little things because he/she loves him/her, these gestures will be treasured more as something that is done out of love, even if it is normal. People do not understand the power of words. Such is the power of words that it can hurt people deeply but it can also make people feel loved. Words are so powerful that it can affect people emotionally. Take a breakfast for example. If done and put on the table, I’d take it as a normal breakfast. It’s love but I just feel normal. On the other hand, if my spouse tells me, “This breakfast is made with love”, that brings it to a whole new level. I feel so extra loved, even by just taking that breakfast and it makes me realize that it’s not just a breakfast but rather an effort my spouse puts in because she loves me a lot.
Words come more into play when you are involved in a distant relationship. No, your actions can’t be seen and felt from the phone so verbal communication is needed. Right, what you have done in the past when you were both together might signify to your spouse that you love him/her. Then again, this is now, in the present, in a distant relationship. Everybody needs some kinda reassurance and verbal communication every now and then to know that their spouse still loves them. If it is too much to ask for, a distant relationship isn’t gonna work. That is why most distant relationship often fails, simply because many people just do not understand what the power of the phrase “I love you” can do.
All I am suggesting is that, to love, it is not only the action that counts. Words play a very important role as well. If saying it is not all that important then, there wouldn’t have been poetries and humans wouldn’t have created the phrase “I LOVE YOU” to begin with, would they? Now, think about it. Some might disagree with me but this is just my two cents. All I am saying is, to love, words and actions come hand in hand. Verbal communication will definitely spice up a relationship by a notch or two.
