Alvin’s Weblog

I hadn’t exactly had a good day for weeks to come, per se. I just suddenly feel so disappointed with the whole world. Smart alecs, shut up if you are going to say anything stupid. I am not in the mood to entertain your smart ass answers.

Reflecting on my past, seeing as today, I feel that some of my friends have disappointed me. I feel taken for granted and I feel stupid for doing some of the things I have done. Maybe I shouldn’t have done those things. Maybe I shouldn’t have done anything at all. It was a mistake and now I know. From now on, I am no longer going to do anything significant for normal friends. I am done being a good guy.

I have realised throughout the years that being a good guy does not exactly earn you anything in this reality, maybe in an ideal world. I mean seriously, what do you get being gentle and nice? All you get is someone stepping on top of your head taking things for granted.

I also don’t think I make a good partner when it comes to relationships. I feel useless, I feel like I cannot compare to other guys out there. They seem to be able to have a very happy relationship with their girls. Me on the other hand, I seem to make my girl sad most of the time. I seem to fuss over trivial matters. Maybe I am being sensitive in certain areas but they just disturb me.

Then, I have clients scolding me for something I have no control over. Take for example, when the internet is down, my client calls me up and scolds me. All I can do is to just listen and bang my head on the wall. What the fuck can I do? I don’t own the internet provider company. It’s just like scolding me when a typhoon comes and damages your property. What do you expect me to do?

Then, you have people who do not use a wee bit of common sense. The instruction is really clear and all that is needed is a slight bit of common sense to correctly interpret what is to be done. Some people just don’t have it. Before you can even tell them what to do, they start asking you how to do it first. If they could just shut the fuck up and listen for a second, they would have known how to do it.

Work load piling here and there nonstop is not helping either. A week goes by unnoticed to me. You think I don’t wanna go for a vacation? You think I don’t wanna enjoy? You think I wanna fucking sit here 24/7 doing a pile shit of job? Ask anyone in my position and they will tell you the same thing. People who are granted too much relaxation just do not appreciate it and thinks other people just don’t know how to relax.

Alright, that’s enough grumble from me for today and I am gonna shut myself out of this world for the next few days to come until I can calm myself down and bring myself back to my senses. Smart alecs, don’t give me craps like “And who are you to say that…” and “You are a sad fuck…”. Any smart ass answers like that and I assure you they get deleted. I am just in no mood for this kinda bullcrap.