Alvin’s Weblog

I love Friendster, don’t get me wrong. It is a source of communication that I use to keep updated with friends that I meet and seldom meet. Along the line, Friendster evolved into something more than it initially was. It’s a good thing to begin with. I mean, with all the customization in place, you basically get to customize the webpage to your liking. More like a personal website of our own.

Proper usage results in a perfect community of friends communicating with each other. In fact, Friendster is also a tool to expand your friendship network. Somehow or another, Murphy’s law always holds. There are always bound to be idiots out there spoiling the perfect cycle at the least expected time.

Here, I am going to list the top 10 things I hate about Friendster, or rather about people using Friendster:

10) Nicknames not resembling the person

Some people put nicknames and not have a single photo associated with them. Along the line I start forgetting who they are. How am I supposed to recognize you? I don’t have the Death Note OK! I won’t write your name in the notebook even if I know your name OK! Won’t die letting me know your name OK!

9) People having more than an account with full friends list

Now, having friends are fine but when you post “cute” pictures of yourself trying to gain attention, you get a lot of superficial friends. You know, sometimes, you aren’t that cute in real life and it is with all the make up and the desperate attempts that make you look “cute”. You end up with 500 “friends” in your account and 3 quarter of them are deperate people trying to get to know and bed you. Period.

8 ) Guys who add pretty girls, girls who add handsome guys

These idiots, if you noticed, add all the pretty girls and handsome guys to their lists. Call me a sour grape, whatever. Fucking stupid OK! Add all you want, people hide behind names and photos of porn stars claiming those are them. You add them and later discover these pigs are the total opposite of who they are in real life and die of heart attack knowing the truth.

7) People opening a Friendster blog and have it empty for eternity/write crap

You see a lot of people open Friendster blogs because the majority of the crowd is doing so. One month later, you return to the blog and find a fucking empty page staring right back at you. You might also find the one and only post stating this “Hi, I am new here. I want to write a blog…” and they disappear to god knows where.

Then, some people open a blog to torment your soul with “Wah, time past by so fast. It has been a long time since I updated my stupid blog and I am here now to update the fucking blog so that you can read my stupid post and die of boredom right in front of the computer.”

“Today, I went and eat shit. Life is short, I just want to try everything I can. Today I went and meet up with some online pals who gang raped me because I was so stupid to go and meet them up even before knowing their true nature.”

6) Posting pictures of themselves and claim they are fat/ugly

These people post pictures of themselves and go “Wah I am so fat and ugly.” You bet you are, so just take the god damn picture off the site and save me the agony of having to browse through your fugly pictures. Trying to fish for compliments eh? I don’t want to give you the compliment, how? You are fugly, how? Sue me!!!

5) Using CSS to send me down to hell

I have said this and I’ll say it again. Imagine this, blinking stars background, animated pictures all around the website. Annoying sounds playing in the back ground. Green/pink colour background against yellow texts. Someone kill me right now. I think, Hotmail, GMail, Yahoo, Google and Microsoft should also change their websites to these kinda designs. The blinking effects and animations will definitely attract more traffic to their sites NOT!!! So quit it!!! The first thing I do when I see this kinda site is hit the Back button almost immediately.

4) Useless testimonials

Stop sending useless and annoying testimonials. I go to your site to look up your profile and not listen to a stupid bird singing. The bird is annoying OK! Don’t even send meaningless testimonials like “This is a meaningful testimonial. This testimonial is meaningful because it is not meaningless. A lot of people send meaningless testimonials, unlike this meaningful testimonial that is not meaningless.” Damn you, it might be interesting the first few times I read it. It becomes annoying after reading it 100 god damn times. Truth be told, this is the most meaningless testimonial of all meaningless testimonials.

3) Forwarded chain messages

You have been haunted by the spirit of an evil ghost. If you do not forward it in the next 5 minutes, the ghost will haunt you for the next 1 year. Forward this to at least 20 people or bad luck will come your way.

@^&!%@#& KNNCCBTNS, mahai, come la, I don’t and never forward these messages. Come and haunt me, I don’t give a shit, can?!?! Puki you, while I dump and ignore this message, I hope you are the one who is haunted.

I love god, I know you love god. If you love god, forward this to 20 people or else god will not be happy, etc etc…

@!&*#!&*@#&!@#%& You go and fuck yourself. I love god, but god never state in the bible/manuscript that I have to forward this fucking message to 20 people to show my love for him. You don’t come and teach me stupid things like that. I’ll smack you on your head I tell you! Now go and confess all your sins, you are such a disgrace and hopefully god forgives you for what you have done!

2) Arrogant assholes

Ever came across people who put this is their profiles?

“I do not simply add people. If I do not know you, don’t add me. I will delete people who I do not know and I will not entertain any messages from people I don’t know”

I say, SCREW YOU! You don’t have to say it out to the whole wide world. We already know you’re being a bitch for not adding us. We get it, you don’t have to write it out and tell the whole damn world you are so “famous” and egoistic, you do not entertain people you don’t know. You probably might have your own reasons, but still, don’t have to tell it to the whole wide world!

1) FRIENDSTER IS CLOSING DOWN! THAT MOTHERFUCKER ALLEN SMITH IS COMING! RUN RUN!!!

OMG, Friendster is so gonna close down NOT!!! Are you stupid? Friendster is going to close your account? Where did you heard that from? You are willing to take an idiot’s words for it and you are not willing to read through Friendster’s help area to validate it’s a bullshit?

Where is that motherfucking Allen Smith? Certainly not on Friendster! Ask him to come and close my fucking account. This is so widespread I have received it not once, not twice, not even trice but more than 10 times. I tried responding to it and sending it back to my friend. Surprisingly, people forward spams like this but I have yet to see the message I sent, come back to me. What is wrong with you idiots?

One last time, Allen Smith does not exist, Friendster is not closing down and STOP SENDING THE GOD DAMN STUPID MESSAGE!!! Mai chao turtle!!!